Friday, November 21, 2014

A eulogy for Tammy

In her classroom. Photo by Jennifer Kelleher, one of her students.
When Tammy was a baby, I played peek-a-boo with her and got big laughs. In memory, her laughter was already outsized.

When she was 3 she wanted to be a ballerina. I gave her my red plastic fireman's hat and told her that if she wore that she'd be even better: a ballerina clerk. She wore it for days.

Don't ask what it meant. It was just early days of brotherly torture. But she wasn't defenseless. When she was 9 or 10, I got on the phone extension while she was talking with a friend. She responded with one of the most devastating insults one could deliver in our house: she said I was just like Nixon because I bugged people on the phone.

I told her she should credit me for her great sense of humor on the grounds that she had to have one in order to survive being my little sister. But that was just more teasing. Even in the last year, as she fought the disease and suffered the effects of the treatment, she'd reward a phone call with laughs and without complaints.

Witnessing the outpouring of love and affection she's received over the last few months reminds me of a lesson of that great 20th century american philosopher, The Wizard of Oz. As he told the Tin Man: Your heart is judged not by how much you love, but by how much you are loved by others. (He also said that hearts will never be practical until they can be made unbreakable.) Tammy's small frame held a huge heart.

Rest in peace, Tammy.